Apparently, this baker committed a murder — and now, it’s killing sweet childhood memories.
Evil rumors about the beloved nursery rhyme “The Muffin Man” are spreading on social media, leaving a bad taste in pale mouths around the world.
“Which kid’s hole has to do with the killer?” begins UK-based content creator @NotMrSpock_Fact in a trending TikTok story. “The one you’re probably thinking of is The Muffin Man.”
Yes, according to urban legend, Drury Lane’s suave pastry chef — who got an unforgettably hilarious shout-out from the Gingerbread Man during the interrogation scene in “Shrek” — was a child killer.
In the viral video, which has garnered over 1.1 million views, the TikTokker explains that the real identity of the Muffin Man is said to be Fredrick Thomas Linwood, a serial butcher who allegedly killed scores of children in the 1500s.
“He was a baker,” the social media whistleblower said, “So his method of doing this was to tie bits of string around a nice and tasty muffin and drag the kids down with him before killing them .”
It’s a stomach-churning obstacle with a potential ring of truth.
A master muffin chef, in fact, lived on Drury Lane in London’s West End, near the Museum of London. The well-known family purveyor sold cheap baked goods to the disenfranchised people of the then run-down neighborhood.
“It was a very poor area and it had a terrible reputation,” say experts. “Many people went there to drink, gamble and sometimes commit crimes.”
And while it’s unclear if our once-beloved Muffin has taken part in any murderous debauchery, growing suspicions about his unsavory sins are sending social media audiences spiraling.
The online outrage surrounding the candy seller is remarkably similar to the fallout that followed after Jane, a special TikTok bubble, revealed the truth about the iconic “It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring,” nursery rhyme.
“So you know what that means?” asked the smiling blonde in a popular post.
“The old man liked a good drink,” she said. “‘It’s raining, it’s raining,’ refers to alcoholic beverages that flow very freely—as in, it’s raining cocktails and shots.”
And if that shocking revelation wasn’t sobering enough, a tribe of Spanish-to-English translators recently broke the hearts of millennials everywhere by deciphering the lyrics to the ’90s dance song, “Macarena.”
“It’s the cheater’s theme song,” groaned one disappointed reviewer after learning that the raucous ditty openly promotes adultery.
Muffin Man fans are also now lamenting his unpleasant knowledge.
“Wow, that really freaked me out,” confessed one annoyed commenter.
“And we sing this to our child,” said an equally amazed onlooker.
“My childhood was ruined,” lamented another.
“I love how dark our childhood rhyme translates,” teased another. “Guess that explains why I like true crime.”
However, some foodies cheekily admitted that they actually wouldn’t mind enduring death by muffin.
“Muffin Man would 100% attract me with that method,” joked one pleasure seeker. “Even as an adult”.
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Image Source : nypost.com