Dear Abby: I have a hard time accepting that my children are growing up – is this normal?

Dear ABBY: I had my four children by the time I was 24. My oldest is a high school senior, while the others are in second, eighth, and seventh grade.

I feel, at times, that I go through a grieving process now more than ever as they are getting older and time is moving at an incredible speed.

Is it normal to feel sadness and grief for your children growing up, knowing that they will be gone in a few years? My oldest just joined the military and left after her senior year of high school.

I became a mother at such a young age that it’s all I’ve known and devoted my life to (besides being a wife and health care worker).

Is what I’m feeling normal, and if so, does the emotional part of it ever get easier?

I pride myself on being the best I can be as a mother and provider, and I have a hard time – especially with the older ones – knowing I have to let go. — MOM INVESTED IN TENSEE

Dear Mother: People experience “empty nest syndrome” to varying degrees. You are a successful parent, but you are more than that.

You have raised your daughter to (young) adulthood and prepared her for independence. That was your job.

She’s not dying, you’re not losing her, and she’s not “disappearing over a sand dune.”

She now has a chance to use the skills you have taught her to create a successful future.

Dry the tears. Be proud of yourself. Be proud of it. Now that your children are older, explore activities that will enrich your life. You’ve earned it.

Dear ABBY: I recently got engaged and am thrilled to be marrying such a wonderful man. We communicate well and have never argued so far.

Weddings are expensive and we agreed on a budget. We will pay for it ourselves.

Once we started dealing with all the costs, we quickly realized that we would have to reduce the number of guests or increase the budget.

I am totally against increasing the budget to accommodate family members my fiance barely speaks to. I wanted a small wedding anyway.

He feels compelled to invite all of his extended family and I don’t get it.

I love it, but why are we forced to extend ourselves for people who won’t be a big part of our lives going forward? – FRUGAL FUTURE BRIDE IN FLORIDA

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: Be glad you’re having this discussion with your fiancé early in your engagement.

I say this because questions about priorities and how money is spent are among the main reasons marriages break up.

Although this can add to the expenses associated with your wedding, it can prevent many problems down the road if you both get premarital counseling.

There may be other ways to cut costs instead of cutting the guest list, especially if your fiancé thinks his family members might feel upset if they aren’t invited.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.