Exclusive | I thought I was on a date with a normal, healthy guy – then he told me something that horrified me

Ok, let me pour some tea for my last date – a real tricky evening. Spoiler: it involves a torch. Yes, you heard that right, a flashlight and something a little louder. But first, let’s go back.

So, last week, I found myself in New York on another date. No, unfortunately, not Mr. Big (a girl can dream), but it wasn’t a bad choice either. Slightly younger, highly educated and clearly on a strong career trajectory.

We first crossed paths in January at a winter party in one of those dark, underground New York bars that practically scream “This is where mischief will be done.”

Why did it make an impression? His outfit did heavy lifting. He wore a hat that boldly said, “Show me that hole.” Yes, indeed. Ok, for reference, it was a costume party and I appreciated his sense of humor. So when he found out I was back in town and asked me out for dinner, I thought, “Why the hell not?”

Fast forward 10 months, and my memory of it was fuzzy – except for that hat, of course. I expected the same cheeky guy to go four martinis deep. But when I arrived at the restaurant, I was greeted by a polite, slightly shy guy who seemed… normal. Dare I even say healthy? It doesn’t look like a “gate hat”.

The evening was fun. He made good conversation “though not as weird as I expected” until, drumming, he pulled out a blue UV flashlight.

Let me set the scene: Dinner was over and we had ordered another round of drinks. I happened to compliment the bracelet she was wearing because, honestly, it was kind of cool – unique, not one of those Cartier clones that everyone seems to have.

Then, with a small smile, he reached into his pocket, turned on a blue light, and said, “You’ll never believe what’s in this bracelet.” He turned on the flashlight, shone it. on the beaded bracelet and suddenly little dots lit up.

My jaw hit the floor faster than my last hookup when he explained what those points were. “Oh, that’s my jazz,” he said, as casually as if he’d just ordered another round of martinis.

“Excuse me, what?” I asked, convinced I had heard him wrong.

“Yes. This is my jizz, he repeated with a smile.

Let’s just say it made me rethink everything I thought I knew about jewelry and romance.

Apparently, there’s a company in Canada that turns men’s sperm into bracelets. He and a few friends wear them all proudly around their wrists.

Still confused the next day, I decided to dig deeper. He told me the name of the company that makes them and well.. the process? You send this specialty jewelry business a jar of your freshest contribution. They dry it into a powder, incorporate it into beads and send it back with a UV light so you can flash your memories whenever you want.

The genius behind this idea is Amanda Booth, a jeweler in Canada who has been crafting these sentimental pieces for a while. She calls it “jizzy jewelry,” and frankly, I’m not sure whether to be impressed or horrified.

It all started in 2021 when someone cheekily asked her on TikTok if she’d ever considered using “human fluid” in her designs. Amanda, being the sport that she is, made a half-joking Facebook post about it. To her surprise, the requests started pouring in. Now she has hundreds of customers ordering custom-made pieces made from their love juice. Romance, 2024 style.

But let’s not pretend it’s all glitz and glam in the world of DIY sperm accessories. Amanda told VICE that while fresh samples are manageable, those sent through the mail? Oof. “It smells like cum, you know what I mean,” she said. Babe, unfortunately, we do.

After a particularly stinky day, she also implemented a “no processing in the morning” rule. Lesson learned: Treat said jewelry only after lunch.

Amanda’s TikTok showing the process went viral, racking up 5.8 million views. Love it or hate it, you’ve got to hand it to her – this might be the most unique pick-me-up of sentimental memories ever.

So there’s one to present “things I never thought I’d see in my lifetime.” Dating in New York is a circus, but this? The next level.

Let’s see what next week’s date brings – maybe a guy whose socks are made of pubes. Stay tuned.